I don't know, do I?

TEST

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:35:44 GMT

Miriam Elia

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:53:24 GMT

Quiz: Glee's English Quiz

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 13:21:46 GMT

Jokes.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:33:00 GMT

If you're super bored you could do worse than taking a look at a trial day of jokes we're running on Weds 23 April - keep an eye on the two following blogs, and send in your jokes and hilarious comments about the day's "news and most pressing issues". You get a fiver for each line we use!

http://www.gleenews.blogspot.com
http://www.gleetoday.blogspot.com

I am web monkey on the project. Give me a wave!

TEST

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:27:47 GMT

Well I see what everyone means now.

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 18:26:51 GMT

So I watched Star Wars (original film, episode 4, whatever) for the first time ever yesterday.

It's good.

Update!

Thu, 20 Sep 2007 12:37:02 GMT

Boy I'm crap at doing this. I have mostly been celebrating people getting one year older, married and/or born this past month. I really have very little to say. EXCEPT I heart Samantha Bee. Watch this:

I also went to my first residents' meeting last night. I was the youngest by at least 30 years. Pressing matters included: the recycling scheme (it's good, but not that good), laundry prices (boo hoo), and alternative energy sources (yum!).

The upside was that it was held in the William Booth College, aka The Scary Salvation Army building. As expected, it had lovely views from the top but inside was like a Czech youth hostel, full of people with dead eyes and fear etched on their faces at the arrival of normals from the outside.

Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to skewer the committee with my incisive question about bike racks, as there appeared to be a requirement for speaking that you a) had to have lived in the building for at least 32 years and b) were so deaf you couldn't hear anyone else trying to get a word in edgeways so thundered on about 230% price increases on the storage cupboards.

But I am now the proud maintainer of the RPH website! What a citizen.

Paxman vs Humphries

Sat, 25 Aug 2007 18:32:28 GMT

Hoo-ha!

Good point by Paxman that the BBC should be doing "less better". But what a dick.

"I'm so funky, I'd sleep with myself"

Sat, 18 Aug 2007 22:04:37 GMT

Prince was AMAZING - he played almost everything I wanted to hear and was really funny with it. He is also ever so good on guitar. He didn't, however, play either of the following:

i) I Would Die 4 U
ii) Batdance

Either of which would have sent me over the edge. As it was I spent the whole two hours screaming and dancing like a ninny.

We got the Thames clipper boat back to Waterloo, which was a beautiful way to end the evening. Completely in love with London again.

I have a blank video; does anyone have a recorder?*

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 17:07:42 GMT

So I've got tickets for Prince on Friday. This is exciting, don't get me wrong. But then I see this in the schedules.

Curses!

* Please don't go all Sky Plus on me. I'm yet to make the jump to digital telly even.

Fringe!

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 18:55:10 GMT

Been in Edinburgh for the past few weeks, so no posts for ages. Here's a summary of things I've learned:

1) I love peanut butter.
2) I also like deep-fried Mars bars (no surprise there).
3) Facebook is purely a force for good.
4) Stay out of the way of cameramen (see the videos we're making on bbc.co.uk/edinburgh - I make accidental cameos in most of them)
5) Exercise = weight loss.
6) Take more than a single pair of jeans to wear on location.
7) Do not wear canvas shoes in the rain.
8) Stop after the third rose petal and lychee Martini.

More updates soon!

Copied from p.7 of the jobs section of Saturday's Guardian (all punctuation unchanged)

Sun, 15 Jul 2007 20:44:55 GMT

"the princes are partying and the queen is not amused !!!!

this much is clear - ic! berlin manufactures sheet-metal glasses and is waiting for you to place these on the beautiful noses of british ladies and gentlemen. your first task is to visit opticians and instil them with the ic! berlin spirit. to sell glasses!

you have known ic! berlin since your primary school, and have wanted to become an ic! berlin sheet-metal glasses salesperson since your childhood days. in addition to this, you love glasses, but do not need to be from the glasses industry. the main thing is: selling is your passion!

have the courage to finally make the dream of your youth come true! adventure is calling and it could be wonderful! we are looking forward to your application: covering letter, cv, qualification certificates, holiday photos, when you first heard of us, etc. good salary and benefits.

with steely-brilliant greetings
r. anderl
loyal uk steel-framed glasses salesman"

I can't decide which is my favourite phrase in all this. There are so many. Added to that, until I read this, I had no idea how much I wanted to sell steel-framed glasses. God bless the Germans.

SOMEwhere... OHver the rainbow....

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 20:41:51 GMT

I broke the only commuter rule today. On the train to Denmark Hill I couldn't contain my excitement at the sight of a huge, perfect rainbow ahead of me over South London, so I turned round to everyone on my crowded carriage and - thinking how uplifting and inspiring my words would be, in one memorable moment breaking the social shackles that keep us from looking each other in the eye, smiling and reaching with our arms outstretched in the spirit of common humanity and mass coexistence after a long day at work - said, "Look! A rainbow!".

The two people who bothered to glance up from their freesheets gave me such a look of derision.

Seriously, take these bold tags off me

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 15:30:27 GMT

Flight of the Conchords are coming to BBC4, which means I now have a very real deadline to get off my arse and buy freeview. It's been fun in analogue while it lasted though.

And for all those who thought white-middle-class-people-trying-their-hand-at-rap was becoming a little old hat:

You were wrong.

All this talk of JT is making me miss MJ

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 23:04:47 GMT

It's okay - he's not in a hotel room in Las Vegas drugged up to his eyeballs, surrounded by flunkies and unable to go to the loo on his own, let alone make another album! No, he's here, on the internet, moonwalking and dancing just like he always does.

Some people with even more time on their hands than me and even more inclination to use it on the internet took that footage from 1983 and did this with it.

This is it! Wake up, Michael! You CAN be great again!*

* To open-source programmers.

This pic makes me smile SOO much

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 12:23:40 GMT

Hooray.

Not in North London any more, Toto

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 19:58:26 GMT

It's different down here.

In which I do not use the word 'citin'

Sun, 24 Jun 2007 19:32:13 GMT

Having seen him do new material on Friday night*, I have become alarmingly fixated on Russell Brand. It's lucky for him that he has since moved from the address he gave when I paid him last year at the club, is all I can say.

I've been rewatching his RE:brand series on YouTube, filmed during the time he was at MTV and on heroin. It was supposed to be overturning taboos, and whether it did or not - it glues you to the screen. This programme was about confronting issues with one's father, and features Brand staging a boxing match with his dad, who left him and his mother when he was a baby.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

* He did do a joke about MJ ("Neverland? Sometimesland, I think") which made me a bit sad but all in all he was fucking funny

Song 4 Mutya

Thu, 21 Jun 2007 16:05:28 GMT

Christ the new Mutya song is good. Groove Armada, what what?

Old man dies

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 12:30:15 GMT

If I think about the old chestnut of whether comedy should shy away from giving offence or not, my brain starts to hurt, so I don't know what to make of the reaction to Bernard Manning dying.

Former fat goth Marcus Brigstocke sure doesn't like him, but then this knob shouldn't be encouraged either.

And The Mirror's "Racist In Peace" headline is a bit much; the guy has a family for chrissake.

I used to think if it was a good joke and well-observed, it didn't matter if it offended some people. I seem to share that opinion with Manning (but that Auschwitz joke is funny!).

I never saw him do comedy, but, racist or not, I doubt he would have been my cup of tea. Charlie Higson makes the point that the kind of post-modern comedy of you get in shows like Extras shares too much with the original un-PC comedians they're ironising NOT to share their views too.

Hmm. My brain is beginning to throb.

Monster monster

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 20:58:20 GMT

We went to the WhirledArt cinema in Loughborough Junction last night, to see Nosferatu. It's in a railway arch under the line between Brixton and Camberwell, and they were showing the silent Murnau version of the film with a live piano.

We only slightly ruined it by misjudging the speed with which the local takeaway could make our curry, and having to sit throughout the film with it in a bag and uneaten. This made it the second popular cultural event I have ruined by eating food on the back row (the last one involved wasps and Shakespeare).

The cinema is on a scary turning off Herne Hill Road next to a Boxing Club and a Christian Temple (also a railway arch), but it's free, shows really good films and keeps bottles of gin in ice buckets at the back. It'd make a wicked comedy club, if I could be arsed (I can't).

Best of all, it's available for hire; so the question is: which film to show? Or, better than that, what telly programme? I have visions of hiring it and showing episodes of Going Live! from 1991.*

Good idea?

* Golden era.

"Another perfect batch!"

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 20:52:34 GMT

I can't get enough of the Shreddie-knitting grannies.

Nature vs Kat

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 17:34:03 GMT

Anyone who's spoken to me in the last two weeks will know how stressed I've been about my window boxes. I think everyone has appreciated how much the detail I've gone into about them. They've just been planted with geraniums, and there is a very real possibility that I will kill them before they've even lived, as I have done so far with all houseplants (and let's face it - pets).

I have at least another 10 years before I have to start worrying about children and the like, so this was an early try-out of my nurturing abilities (until now completely untested).

And of course, geraniums being native to equatorial countries, I had to be as nurturing as a desert. This gave me cause for concern.

So today was a big day - my geraniums have hatched!

We then spent most of the afternoon watching a hugely pregnant black cat bask in the sun, and then walk home - to the flat below mine! Which means any day now there will be loads of little kittens round here. You can actually see them wriggling inside her when she walks.

Never trust anyone who uses post-it notes at home

Fri, 08 Jun 2007 13:11:12 GMT

Ze Frank does a daily video which can be really funny, sometimes not so. But this I really like.

For more passive aggression in the workplace/flatshare/public spaces, lookey here. My favourite so far:

He doesn't? So the whole crucification thing was for... nothing?

UPDATE! FFS - this link has just been in today's Holy Moly. I posted this BEFORE him. Tcha.

Sarah Silverman on last night's MTV Movie Awards

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:21:00 GMT

I could watch this all day. The look on Hilton's face at the end... oh.

I don't know, do I?

TEST

Miriam Elia

Quiz: Glee's English Quiz

Jokes.

**TEST**

Well I see what everyone means now.

Update!

Paxman vs Humphries

"I'm so funky, I'd sleep with myself"

I have a blank video; does anyone have a recorder?*

Fringe!

Copied from p.7 of the jobs section of Saturday's Guardian (all punctuation unchanged)

SOMEwhere... OHver the rainbow....

Seriously, take these bold tags off me

All this talk of JT is making me miss MJ

This pic makes me smile SOO much

Not in North London any more, Toto

In which I do not use the word 'citin'

Song 4 Mutya

Old man dies

Monster monster

"Another perfect batch!"

Nature vs Kat

Never trust anyone who uses post-it notes at home

Sarah Silverman on last night's MTV Movie Awards

TEST